The same woman who claimed Paul McCartney was her father, now is claiming Sheryl Crow stole her baby using a mechanical remotely controlled stork. Bettina Krischbin made the latest startling claim at press conference to respond to a German courts rejection of her efforts to investigate Paul McCartney's 1983 DNA sample.

"I just can't believe how these singers have abused me," sobbed Bettina, "It was so traumatic, this stork swooped down, ripped off my baby's plastic diaper, replaced it with a cloth one, then took off with my baby. Then as it flew away it was shrieking, "One sheet!" "One sheet!" "One Sheet!".